Center for the Advancement of Well-Being

Thriving Together Series: The Power of Kindness through Grace

Thriving Together Series article kindness grace

 

By: Savannah Mitchell, Graduate Professional Assistant for Bridge to Belonging, Center for the Advancement of Well-Being

When people talk about kindness at George Mason, they often focus on student-to-student interactions and overall peer interactions. As students, we are encouraged to hold open doors, check in on friends, build community through peer support, etc. While those moments certainly do matter, there is another form of kindness that deserves more attention: the kindness that comes from professors, instructors, and supervisors, when they extend grace to students during times of need. I received that grace myself. Here’s my story, and why expressing kindness through grace is a powerful way to boost well-being.

Kindness from university professionals isn’t always public, and it doesn’t always show up in dramatic ways. More often, it shows up quietly, such as through an email that asks, “Are you okay?,” before asking about missing work, flexibility around attendance when a student is struggling, and the decision to see a student as a whole person rather than just as a name on a roster. For many students, receiving grace in ways like those can relieve stress, boost our well-being, and even change our lives.

My Story

At first glance, I looked like a strong student. I was involved, driven, and academically capable. What wasn’t immediately apparent was how difficult my time at George Mason was socially and emotionally. Throughout my first few years, I experienced romantic breakups, conflict in my friendships, family stress, health scares, and time periods where coping looked more like survival than success. There were days when getting out of bed felt impossible. There were weeks when I simply stopped showing up to class. I rarely explained why.

Part of that was pride. I cared deeply about my academics and struggled to admit that I was not okay. Yet, even without full explanations, I was met over and over again with grace. Professors checked in when I returned to class. Instructors offered ways to catch up instead of marking the absences. Supervisors treated me like a person first and an employee second. Most of these people likely don’t know the impact they had, but their kindness kept me enrolled, grounded, and eventually able to thrive.

So, what did this look like in practice? Over my four years as a George Mason student, grace showed up in different ways:

  • A professor noticed my absence, welcomed me back, and offered support instead of judgment.
  • An instructor allowed flexibility with exams or assignments during times when my mental state was fragile.
  • A supervisor created a space where I could talk, cry, vent, or simply just exist.
  • Faculty members recognized when my work reflected struggle rather than seeing it as apathy, and responded with care and concern for my well-being.

These actions may have seemed small at the time when people chose to express kindness to me through them. But they had a significantly positive effect on me. Their choices to be kind gave me everything I needed to continue to pursue my education and get back on my feet.

What Well-Being Research Shows

Research in higher education supports what many students experience firsthand, which is that rigid policies do not affect all students equally. Scholars have noted that strict attendance rules, late penalties, and inflexible grading often disadvantage students who are also navigating external stressors like balancing health concerns, families, finances, jobs, and other responsibilities.

This recent study published in the International Journal for the Scholarship of Teaching and Learning showed the battle that faculty typically face: balancing fairness with flexibility. Some instructors build flexibility into their courses to avoid constantly deciding whose circumstances “deserve” an exception. Others rely on strict policies as a form of protection, like using the syllabus as a “shield” to avoid moral or emotional labor. Still, many recognize a deeper inconsistency: academia often allows flexibility for professionals, while denying it to students. The study includes this insightful quote from a faculty member about giving students grace: “I want to minimize the number of times I’m having to make a moral decision about if this counts for an exception and so I try to build enough flexibility in the schedule that life can happen. Your life can be crazy, but I don’t have to be the arbitrator of whose excuse is worthy.”

The results of this survey, published in the Proceedings Of The 55th ACM Technical Symposium On Computer Science Education, showed that when professors build grace into the due dates for assignments, students appreciate it and still stay motivated: “… deadline policies that provide both flexibility and structure for students have the advantage of being perceived as more welcoming, causing less stress, and reflecting instructor concern for mental health without having negative effects on time management and leading to procrastination.”

This article from the University of Alaska, Fairbanks points out that: “An ‘ideal’ due date plus an automatic 48-72-hour grace period reduces stress and doesn’t hurt grades, with especially strong benefits for first-generation students.”

Giving Students Kindness through Grace Leads to Positive Outcomes

What I want to get across is that extending grace is not about abandoning expectations, letting students get away with anything, or neglecting to prepare students for the adult world. It’s about recognizing that learning does not happen in a vacuum. Students carry their lives into the classroom, workplace, and wherever else they go. Often, they will not disclose the details of all the stress they’re carrying.

I am still here because I was extended kindness through grace. I completed my degree (and nearly my master’s degree as well), I pursued work that aligned with my values, and I returned to spaces where I was once supported myself – this time, as someone who supports others. The kindness I received did not make me weak or less responsible. It made me resilient.

For faculty, instructors, and student staff supervisors: your flexibility, empathy, and willingness to see students as whole people matters more than you may realize.

For students: kindness from professionals is not charity; it is an investment in your growth.

At George Mason, kindness is not just about how students treat one another. It is also about how our university, through its people, chooses to respond when students struggle. And sometimes, that response changes everything!

A special thank you to the following people, who inspired me to write this article: Professor Delmer “Kevin” Nazar, Dr. Alexandra Patzak, Dr. Kimberly Sheridan, Dr. Peiyu Yang, Professor Laura McAuliffe, Dr. Sayed Elsisi, Zareena Khan, Katie Clare, Director William Lake, Jr., Dr. Anthony Hoefer, Instructor Sabrina “Bri” Fitzgerald McGrath, Dr. Anastasia Kitsantas, Dr. Rebecca Morse, Dr. Michelle Buehl, NP Patrice Levinson, Dr. Justin Ramsdell, Jessie Lee, Alexis Beard, and Cyndi Hunter.

Additional Resources

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