By: Rick Beckwith, Executive Coach at KME3
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill
People all over the world desire lives of meaning, purpose, fulfillment, peace, and love. These qualities are each important factors in experiencing well-being – of thriving. I define thriving as “flourishing in one’s personal relationships, goals, and purpose in life.” Isn’t that what we all long for? While we often think of thriving in terms of what we can receive, we should also consider what we can give that will help us thrive. One key ingredient in thriving that doesn’t get much attention is generosity. Here’s why generosity is important for well-being.
Although we may envision the very rich, celebrities, or sports stars, to be examples of thriving people, they are not the only ones who can thrive in life. Everyone can thrive. In fact, many people – including those who are rich or famous – are still searching for what would make them feel successful and complete. The reason thriving eludes people is because they’re looking for it in the wrong places. Consider for a moment some of the struggles money and fame bring to people. While we may be jealous of their money, would we really want the strife that seems to accompany fame? Jim Carrey famously told an interviewer with the Ottawa Citizen, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and have everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that that’s not the answer.”
The Key Ingredient for Thriving
John D. Rockefeller, the founder and president of Standard Oil, was the richest man in the United States by age 50. But at the age of 53, he became deathly ill. He was in constant pain and his body seemed to be shutting down. He couldn’t sleep, he could barely eat, and he even lost interest in his life’s work and quest to make more money. His doctors predicted he had no more than a year to live.
One morning during his failing state, Rockefeller came to the realization that he would not be able to take any of his money with him after death. For the first time, this strong business leader resigned himself to the fact he was not in control of his destiny. So, he made a radical decision. He established the John D. Rockefeller Foundation that would invest his assets into research on various chronic diseases (like malaria and tuberculosis), and the construction of hospitals. One notable fruit of this investment was the development and distribution of penicillin. An estimated 500 million lives have been saved by penicillin since that time. How do you think the magnitude of that investment felt to Rockefeller? Read on.
Generosity Heals a Heart and a Body
A strange thing happened once Rockefeller made this commitment to generosity. He began healing physically. In fact, he lived to the ripe old age of 98 – a full 45 years longer than his doctors thought possible. Rockefeller discovered the joy of generosity and found thriving through philanthropy. The measure of happiness he felt in sharing his blessings appears to have been what healed him.
In his later years, Rockefeller reflected in his diary: “God taught me that everything belongs to Him, and I am merely a channel to fulfill His wishes. My life has been a long, happy journey, full of work and play. I let go of worry, and God was good to me every day.”
Selflessness Leads to Generosity
Research by Michael Norton, an assistant professor in the marketing unit of the Harvard Business School, revealed that while the purchase of material possessions can offer a temporary emotional lift, the effects of a new watch, car, or dress are almost always short-lived. However, their evidence implies we can find happiness when we spend money on others rather than ourselves – thus confirming the old adage: it is better to give than to receive.
The Cleveland Clinic sites a report by Dr. Susan Albers in which she claims a smile isn’t the only reaction that comes from gift-giving. There’s also a chemical response that takes place in the body. When we give to others our brains secrete “feel good” chemicals such as: serotonin (which regulates mood), dopamine (which gives us a sense of pleasure), and oxytocin (which creates a sense of connection with others). “When we do things for other people, it makes us feel much more engaged and joyful,” says Dr. Albers. This sounds a lot like thriving!
The Barna Group conducted a research study on the Five Dimensions of Thriving People: faith, relationships, vocation, finances, and physical and mental well-being. The study found that people who are engaged in their faith experience higher degrees of thriving, not just in the faith dimension, but in all five aspects of thriving – including their money. Why is this the case? I believe it is because God is the author of all five areas, and therefore God has wisdom to share about each with those who are willing to listen. This connection between generosity and thriving aligns with what Solomon, who some people regard as the wisest man who ever lived, advises in Proverbs 3:9-10 of the Bible: “Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.”
Putting Generosity into Practice
- What is a cause about which you feel passionate? Decide what you can do to invest generously in that cause, either by giving financially, or by giving of your time. Journal the reactions you see in others as well as within yourself.
- Have you considered adding a “giving” category to your budget? If you save a little money each month you’ll start to get excited about who you might give it to. It will bring both of you joy.
- What generous investment would you most be excited to make someday? What impact do you envision from it?
Additional Resources
- The Greater Good Science Center – “The Science of Generosity”
- The Wellbeing Partners – “Thriving Through Generosity”
- Bob Lotich, Seedtime, “The Psychology of Tithing”
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